Mac and the Beanstalk
by EternallyImperfect
Summary: Bloo retells the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. Oneshot.


**Author's Note**

I own neither Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends nor Jack and the Giant Beanstalk. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here. Heh. I can only wish I owned such an awesome show as Foster's.

Also, this is my first FHFIF fic so if you read, I would appreciate it if you left a review.

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"And they lived happily ever after. The end!" Mac concluded his tale, "How was it, guys?" 

They were sitting around a campfire and above them the stars twinkled as Mac ended his story.

"That was great, Mac!" Wilt applauded as Eduardo added, "That wes good, Senor Mac."

"Cocococo co!"

"Thanks! I also have anoth-"

"Um, you know what? It was okay. It's my turn now to tell a story," Bloo smoothly cut in.

"Oh, okay..."

"I'm going to tell the tale of Mac and the Beanstalk."

"Coco cocococo cococo?"

"No, I mean _Mac_ and the Beanstalk," he replied and commenced.

"Once upon a time there lived a poor old woman named Madame Foster who had a grand-daughter named Frankie..."

"But, Bloo, Madame Foster isn't poor-"

Bloo looked up at Wilt in annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah, will you just shut up and let me tell my AWESOOOOMME story?" he snapped.

"Um, yeah, sure, but...I mean, I'm sorry!" apologized Wilt as he looked into the campfire in an ashamed manner.

"Good. So they lived in a broken-down, smelly, old, and rotten but huge house that was full of imaginary friends. They were often visited by a little boy named Mac. Madame Foster had sold all of the furniture to buy food for herself and Frankie and the imaginary friends. Mac would often help them to sell their stuff, but one day there was nothing left to sell but their cow-"

Confused, Mac interrupted, "Madame Foster doesn't have a cow."

"That's because she sold it, Mac-"

"But-"

" ONE DAY," Bloo raised his voice, "There was nothing left to sell but the cow. So Mac assured Madame Foster and Frankie that he would sell the cow for them at a good price. He went out and on the way met a super-tall-super-fat-super-"

"Senor Bloo, there es no such person en Jack and te Beanstalk!"

"This is Mac and the Beanstalk, NOT Jack and the Beanstalk, okay? Everybody got that clear?" Bloo demanded, looking around at the others, annoyance in his voice.

Silence ensued. Mac blinked. Wilt blinked. Eduardo blinked.

"Coco," the bird-shaped friend broke the silence.

"Sure, Bloo, we get it," Wilt said.

"But," Eduardo began, but was hushed by the others as Bloo restarted.

"On the way, he met a super-tall-super-fat-super-smelly wizard who was red in color with the number one on his body.

'Where are you going?' he asked.

'I'm going to the market to sell the cow,' Mac replied.

'It's lucky I met you. I will buy the cow at the price of three potatoes. If that's okay?'

'Three potatoes! But we need money.'

As he said that, the wizard threw three potatoes at him, and before he could object, ran away with the cow! Running away, the wizard screamed back at him, 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!'

Mac was terribly upset and returned to the house to report what happened. Madame Foster and Frankie were very angry and threw the potatoes out of the house."

"Why wouldn't they eat them instead?" Mac asked.

"Hey, pal, is it my story or yours?"

Mac sighed; the story barely made sense.

"Mac returned the next day to apologize, but he was greeted by a huge beanstalk."

"Beanstalks don't grow out of potato-Oh, never mind," Mac muttered.

"Curious about where it led, Mac climbed up, up, up and when he had reached the very top, he realized that he was on the top of...hmmm...um...uh...Mount Everest!!!

Looking around, he saw a huge bird-plane-plant-shaped giant standing at the entrance of a giant castle.

Tired and hungry from climbing, Mac asked, 'Excuse me, bird giant, but may you please give me some lunch?'

The bird giant replied, 'Cococococo? Cococo!' and, with a half-crazed look, led the boy into the kitchen, where he ate. Halfway through his lunch, Mac heard a terrible knock at the door, which at once threw the bird giant into a panic.

'Cococococo!" she screamed as she took Mac and dumped him in a rubbish bin.

Mac, confused, asked, 'What?! Who's coming?'

In the trash bin, Mac stayed very, very quiet and he heard a large booming voice,

' Fee, fi, fo, fun!

I smel somethin bad in te trash!

Be it alive or be it dead

It better not be en me bed!"

Mac peeped out and saw a gigantic purple-haired monster who wore a belt which had on it a skull. He shuddered."

Eduardo yelled, "Senor Bloo, that es not me! Surely that not mee! I not monstre!"

Bloo cast him a sarcastic look.

"Eduardo, that's not you."

"Ooh! That better! I-"

"That's just a slightly 'tougher' version of you."

"Oh, but-"

Bloo sighed loudly in an irritated manner and continued.

"The bird giant answered the purple monster, 'Coco? Coco.'

The purple monster then said, 'Brin me my bags o' potatoes!'

The bird giant complied.

He began to count his potatoes, 'One, too, tee, foor...,' but he soon fell asleep. Mac crept out of the rubbish bin and stole two hundred bags of potatoes!"

"But, but, but I don't steal!! Besides, it's impossible to steal so much at a time!" Mac said in a frenzy.

"Well, you were greedy...What can I say?" Bloo shrugged, going on.

"As he walked away, the purple monster awoke! He saw Mac taking his potatoes and he screamed like a girly girl, 'Nooo! Not my potatoes!!!'

He began to chase Mac and Mac fled for his life down the beanstalk with his heavy load of potatoes. He couldn't climb so he fell all the way down. Panicked, he began to chop down the beanstalk as Madame Foster and Frankie rushed out of the house to watch. Frankie rushed over with a...kitchen knife! And she helped him to chop it down. The beanstalk fell, fell, fell, and fell on THEM! The purple monster, bird giant, and red wizard also came crashing down from the skies!"

"AHHH! I cannot listen anymore! You es horrible, Bloo!" Eduardo yelled squeamishly.

"When they all recovered and climbed out from underneath the stalk, they were surprised to find lots and lots of mashed potatoes! Everyone had a share in the mashed potatoes and made themselves so full they might explode...but they didn't. Frankie said to Madame Foster, 'We could sell all this and make money!"

And so they sold tons of mashed potatoes on Wilson Way and they earned enough money and lived happily every after. The end!! Guys...?"

They had all fallen sound asleep. Bloo was the only one awake; he cast a lonely look up at the sky and saw one singularly bright star. "But you were listening, right?"

"That was terrific!"

"Huh?" he looked behind. Madame Foster stood behind holding marshmallows on sticks.

"You've got a good story there!"

"Uh, thanks. What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing just came over to toast marshmallows. Want some?"

"Sure," Bloo sat next to the elderly woman.

"And I too have a tale," she piped.

"Eh, I'm too tired for-"

"Oh, no, you are going to sit down and LISTEN!"

"Heh heh heh, okay, okay!"

They toasted marshmallows as Madame Foster began her little fairytale; and above them the stars twinkled.


End file.
